The recession has hit us all hard and none more so than couples planning to marry. Gone are the days where you, the bride-to-be, can afford to go all out on that Gucci dress; no longer do you need to worry about offending people by leaving them off the guest list - they‘re just relieved they don't have to buy a wedding gift; the age-old fear that you'll hate the engagement ring he picks out has given way to the concern that you may not get one at all! Yes, it's out with the bridezillas and in with another bridal breed: brides-on-a-budget. This latest bridal brigade has ditched the extravagancies of their predecessors, concentrating on getting the important aspects of the wedding just right and leaving the luxuries aside. But the one thing these budget brides have in common with the bygone bridezilla? They want their big day to be the best day of their lives. They want their dream wedding. They want it all. But how can you have it all when financially you've got, well, not a lot at all really?
Dressing Down
Now that you've got the date sorted, it's time to kit yourself out for it. In recent years, a huge proportion of the wedding budget has gone on the cost of the brides wedding dress. The modern obsession with sizing ourselves us against celebrities has encouraged the trend (and pressure) to sport labels, and decking ourselves out designer-style had, until recently, become the norm. "Brides have spent up to $15,000 on designer wedding dresses, which is huge chunk of the wedding budget to spend", says Vivienne.
However, with the recession hitting couples hard, frock-shopping with frugality has come back into fashion. "Brides-on-a-budget are increasingly seeking out bargains. A great way to get a nice wedding dress without breaking the bank is to scour the internet", advises Vivienne. " Buying online is often cheaper, plus there are so many designers online - lesser-known but just as impressive - who are dying for business and exposure and are generally ready and willing to design and make orders for brides at reasonable prices."
Also, hitting the high street for a cheaper alternative to the designer dress has come back into vogue. High street clothing can be just as beautiful as the designer dresses and what's more, they carry a much more attractive price-tag. And scouring the streets can even include charity shops, it seems. "Quite a few brides I've worked with have found little gems of dresses in local charity shops", says Vivienne. "Plus, once you choose well and make any necessary alterations, nobody will be any the wiser that it's a second-hand piece."
Second-hand dresses are also very popular in the form of family heirlooms. Wearing your mothers pr grandmothers dress, for instance, is quite popular within close-knit families. Not only is it a nice gesture and good way to keep the tradition going, it also means the money you would have spent on a dress can go towards the rest of the wedding, possibly allowing for some luxuries along the way. If you do decide to wear an old family dress though, do ensure you are comfortable with the arrangement. "I think a family dress works best with small family weddings as it means the bride is not in the uncomfortable position of worrying about people knowing that it's second hand.", says Judy.
Not only should you be okay with the arrangement, you must ensure you are comfortable with the dress itself. "Don't wear it just for the sake of keeping family happy", warns Vivienne. "It's your big day, you want to feel and look your best. If you don't like about it, don't wear it. Of course, if it just feels a bit dated, you could look into getting it altered slightly. Alterations can do wonders with old dresses."
Budget-bedecked Bridesmaids
Now that you've sorted out your dress, it's time to turn your attention to that of your bridesmaid. Generally, if a bride asks a girl to be her bridesmaid, it is up to the bride herself to take care of the cost of the bridesmaid dress. However, as Judy says, if the bridesmaid is a close friend (as she often is), she will understand the brides budget constraints and may be open to sharing the cost. "Splitting the cost of the dress is often the best option", says Judy. "Talking money with friends can be tricky and uncomfortable so the best thing to do to avoid stress is for the bride to sit down with her bridesmaids over dinner and maybe a glass of wine and discuss sharing the cost. That way, everyone gets their say and hopefully they can all come to an fair agreement."
Of course, another thing not to overlook is the possibility of a creatively-inclined friend or family member. "Be sure to consider guests who have experience with designing clothes. They can work wonders on the cheap, giving you mates rates or even doing it for free. As long as you don't take advantage, it's a good cost-cutter if it's an option."
Mates Rates
In fact, making use of guests with specific skills can be a great way to save money. Whether you employ your art student nephew as the secondary photographer or your aunt's catering business at a discounted rate, huge savings can be made, if your guests are willing to help out. However, as Judy is quick to point out, it's important that friends and family offering their services are not just willing, but able. "Be sure to only use the services of guests who are appropriately qualified or at least very capable. You want to get married on the cheap, but at the same time, you don't want your wedding to look it."
Penny-saving Presents
Of course, as is customary, even if friends and family don't contribute to the big day itself, they will undertake the wedding gift-giving with zest. While presents should be accepted with grace and gratitude, no matter their nature, their potential as a cost-cutter shouldn't be overlooked. While it may be untraditional, requesting cash gifts is becoming increasingly popular and they are a great way to up your budget. "If you politely request money as a wedding gift, you can afford to splash out a bit more on the wedding itself, the honeymoon or put it towards a down payment on your first house together", says Vivienne.
Of course, if you don't feel comfortable asking for money from your guests, you could arrange to have a wedding list instead. Almost the norm at this stage, this organized system of gift-giving is basically a list of household items chosen by the couple themselves that will help set up their first home together. The bride then appoints a guest to oversee the system and organize who buys what. This way, you can kit out your first home straight away. This also avoids you ending up with a tone of nice but not terribly useful ornaments or worse still, a family of toasters…
Not only does a wedding list save the couple spending good money on their household wares, it can allow your family and friends to make a saving as well. Times are tough for your guests too and having a wedding list allows them to make a contribution without putting them under the undue pressure that comes with requesting cash-gifts. "Wedding lists invariably include a wide range of items, from expensive fridge-freezers to the cheaper microwaves. Who buys what can then be decided based on the guests varying incomes, with the less well-off buying the smaller objects", says Vivienne. "The great thing about wedding lists is that the details of who paid for what are kept anonymous so guests don't have to worry about looking cheap. A few guests can also pool together their cash to buy the dearer items if they like. This way, everyone contributes and the couple are better off for it. It's a win-win system."
However, Judy warns couples against being over indulgent in making their wedding lists. "Try to list what you need more than what you want because you don't want to be taking advantage. It's fine to put a few luxury items on the list but try to keep them to a minimum." In other words, try to leave the treadmill and the fat-burning grill (George Foreman only please) off the list!
An alternative wedding list, of course, is that of the honeymoon variety. Getting your guests to fund your romantic getaway is an increasingly popular form of gift-giving and many travel companies such as Trailfinders offer honeymoon gift packages whereby your guests pool together their varying amounts of cash to fund your trip. "This is a relatively new system that has taken off hugely around the world. With your honeymoon taken care of, more money can be spent on the wedding itself", says Judy. "Plus, most guests would love to know that their money is going to good use."
Thrifty Trips
Speaking of the post-nuptial travels, choosing a cheaper destination for your honeymoon is another guaranteed money-saver. Never mind Hawaii; why not pack your bags and head to Phi Phi? Naturally, lesser developed parts of the world have a lower cost of living and will often see you spending a fifth of what you would pay basking in the Bahamas. What's more, the less popular honeymoon spots often boast the unspoiled natural beauty that impersonal package-holiday hotspots lack, blessed with equally idyllic sun, sand and sea. "Choosing to go to a less expensive place can save you a packet", says Vivienne. "You can make huge savings on accommodation and dining out in less developed countries. For instance, couples can stay at a four star hotel in many places in the beautiful South East Asia for half the cost of their lunch elsewhere."
However, as Judy points out, cheaper holiday destinations can have their hidden costs so it's important to investigate fully before booking. "Sometimes going to cheaper destinations can end up costing you more because of poor hygiene and sanitation that's so prevalent in poorer countries. You could end up wasting money on doctors abroad which could ruin your trip. It's also likely that you'll have to get immunized against the various diseases that are rife in that country and that can be quite costly. Cheaper destinations are definitely a good cost-cutter but provided you familiarize yourself with the health precautions. Consult your local doctor, the internet or indeed your wedding planner for the best advice."
Professional Budget-busting?
Speaking of the pro‘s, surely the use of a wedding planner during these tough times is an unnecessary expense in itself? The average cost of hiring a planner's services is approx. $2,000 - $3,000, presumably a luxury that a bride on a budget could afford to do without. Or could she?
According to Judy, while it can seem like an extra expense, hiring a wedding planner can actually end up saving you money. "Planners are experts at organizing and dealing with suppliers, from the venue manager to the florist, so prices are often better negotiated by hiring a professional. They will also be aware of any deals on offer at the time and may even be able to pull a few strings through their contacts", she says.
However, while seeking out the dream wedding, Judy maintains that the couple must keep their feet on the ground. "Provided the couple are realistic from start to finish with regard to their budget and their expectations from that, it is certainly possible to have a wonderful wedding on a shoestring."
About the Author: Eva Hogan
Eva is a freelance journalist in Ireland. Having done some casual work for bridal magazine ‘Confetti', Eva's interest in writing wedding-related articles grew. A feature writer at heart, Eva writes articles offering tips, advice and basic information on tying the knot. Eva's only marriage plans involve a beach, a cocktail party and a certain Mr Depp.
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